The final cost differential to Mr. Murdoch's pool-heating expenses: A WHOPPING $6,000, which, against the price cut I offered in my deal to act in this movie, seemed equivalent to the fair market price of one hair on Mr. Rupert Murdoch's formidable ass.

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I'm look forward to giving this a go. The gap between the learning-to-code apps and the actually-coding apps is pretty big at the...